There are places I go where I expect to hear certain things: I go to the doctor to get medical advice; I go to a concert to hear music; I go home to hear about how I’m going to flip burgers if I don’t get my grades up. School has always been a place where I don’t expect to hear anything in particular; where conversation is delightfully random.
Until Twilight.
Dark were the days when all I heard around me was “Oh my God, I LOVE Edward!!!” Everywhere I turned, it seemed, girls were crooning about how beautiful Edward Cullen was and how he was so sweet, so strong, so…wonderful (said with a glossy-eyed stare into space).
I tolerated these outbreaks of affection for the fictional hero. And of course by ‘tolerated’ I mean I took every honest opportunity I got to destroy his reputation and destabilize his regime as ‘pop-icon’. The fighting reached a fever pitch when the movie was released, the veritable ‘A-bomb’ of the Twilight arsenal. After that calamity, I lost hope. “How,” I pleaded, “how could anyone let that book become a movie?”
In an attempt to make peace, I begrudgingly tried to read the first book; I didn’t make it far. But it did open my eyes to several things: firstly, it made me wonder a lot about the way popular media preys on their target audience. I mean no disrespect when I say this, but to a large degree this book seems to be capitalizing on the emotions of ‘tweenage’ girls. Which is obviously what you’d want to do if you were writing a book and you wanted it to sell.
However it’s fairly clear that that is ALL the author wanted to do. The story is so convoluted and full of drama that it becomes unbelievably unreal (even unreal-er than it was originally) that it hardly even passes as a fairy tale. I liked that the author took a new and unique angle on vampires. In doing so, however, she turned a frightening Transylvanian myth into the hot hunky dream-vampire…manthing…of a generation.
I did everything I could to win the war, but fighting Twilight supporters is like fighting the Chinese: there are just too many of them and they’re all willing to sacrifice themselves in the name of their ideals. I fear that the continued dominance of Edward and his band of vampire friends will only lead to another, more devastating conflict between realism and far-far-far-far-fetched tales.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Galaxy Quest
I used to come home from school every day and turn to channel 59 (Spike) to watch Star Trek: Next Generation. I don’t know what it was about the show that made me love it so much (probably Jean-Luc Picard’s keen intellect and his cool collective nature in the face of danger) but the fact is that the show was great and always a favorite of mine. I never dreamed imagined there would be a parody of such an epic show.
Galaxy Quest came out in 1999. It is the tale of a retired troupe of actors who make a living off of appearing at fan-conventions for their long dead show, Galaxy Quest. The crew commander, Jason Nesmith (Tim Allen) enjoys a large fan base, while the rest of the crew walks in his shadow. All of his co-stars are bitter towards him for his enthusiasm at being a worshiped has-been.
At the convention, Jason is approached by an odd group of people claiming to be aliens called Thermians. They ask for the help of Commander Tagert (Jason Nesmith) who they believe is an actual space-commander.
Nesmith goes home and drinks himself to sleep where he is awoken by the Thermians who have come to take him to their ship. Believing that it is just another convention, he goes with them to their ship where he discovers that the Thermians had watched his show and duplicated it, thinking the show was a historical document.
Nesmith returns to earth after having attacked the Thermian’s enemy, Seris, and attempts to convince the rest of his crew that what he experienced was real. At the request of the Thermians, Tagert and his crew travel to the ship to fight the evil Seris.
For someone who watches Star Trek, this film is incredibly funny. It takes every aspect of the show and adds a satirical twist to it. On it’s own, the story is very well written. But as a satire, the film becomes a great parody of an American classic.
Galaxy Quest came out in 1999. It is the tale of a retired troupe of actors who make a living off of appearing at fan-conventions for their long dead show, Galaxy Quest. The crew commander, Jason Nesmith (Tim Allen) enjoys a large fan base, while the rest of the crew walks in his shadow. All of his co-stars are bitter towards him for his enthusiasm at being a worshiped has-been.
At the convention, Jason is approached by an odd group of people claiming to be aliens called Thermians. They ask for the help of Commander Tagert (Jason Nesmith) who they believe is an actual space-commander.
Nesmith goes home and drinks himself to sleep where he is awoken by the Thermians who have come to take him to their ship. Believing that it is just another convention, he goes with them to their ship where he discovers that the Thermians had watched his show and duplicated it, thinking the show was a historical document.
Nesmith returns to earth after having attacked the Thermian’s enemy, Seris, and attempts to convince the rest of his crew that what he experienced was real. At the request of the Thermians, Tagert and his crew travel to the ship to fight the evil Seris.
For someone who watches Star Trek, this film is incredibly funny. It takes every aspect of the show and adds a satirical twist to it. On it’s own, the story is very well written. But as a satire, the film becomes a great parody of an American classic.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Napoleon Dynamite
The story of the outcast-nerd trying to find themselves in the world of high school is a common one that has been told many different times. Each story begins with the loveable nerd whom their peers hate and who seems to be completely alone. The audience is made to feel sorry for this nerd; to have empathy with their struggle. This feeling of pity is what makes the story worth telling.
But Napoleon Dynamite is not that story. John Hader stars as the geeky outsider Napoleon, the friendless daydreaming dweeb of his high school in Idaho. He lives with his 32 year-old-brother Kip and his grandmother. Kip, who is similarly loser-ish, is unemployed and spends most of his days in online chat-rooms looking for love (which is significant later).
While visiting friends in the middle of the desert, Napoleon’s grandmother injures herself and is unable to return home to care for her two grandsons. So she enlists the help of their uncle, Rico, to watch over Kip and Napoleon while she recovers. Uncle Rico is a former star quarterback who has lived in the year 1982 since his team won the state championship.
The movie is full of awkward acting, bad jokes and situations that try too hard to be funny. Absent from the movie is a plot, good writing, and any character development.
Very little happens to indicate a plot: sure, Pedro (Napoleon’s friend) does try to run for class president and yes, he does meet a girl, but neither of those quests is fully finished until the very end of the film. To me, it seemed like the film was made up of a hodge-podge of random events in Napoleon’s life, which are loosely strung together by the theme of him being a complete loser.
The one good part of this movie is the performance of John Hader as Napoleon. In the traditional sense of an outsider movie, there is no quality about Hader’s Napoleon that is loveable. He’s just an asshole the whole movie. A wimpy asshole, maybe, but if he had been a pitiable loser who tries but fails to be accepted, the film would have been even worse.
But Napoleon Dynamite is not that story. John Hader stars as the geeky outsider Napoleon, the friendless daydreaming dweeb of his high school in Idaho. He lives with his 32 year-old-brother Kip and his grandmother. Kip, who is similarly loser-ish, is unemployed and spends most of his days in online chat-rooms looking for love (which is significant later).
While visiting friends in the middle of the desert, Napoleon’s grandmother injures herself and is unable to return home to care for her two grandsons. So she enlists the help of their uncle, Rico, to watch over Kip and Napoleon while she recovers. Uncle Rico is a former star quarterback who has lived in the year 1982 since his team won the state championship.
The movie is full of awkward acting, bad jokes and situations that try too hard to be funny. Absent from the movie is a plot, good writing, and any character development.
Very little happens to indicate a plot: sure, Pedro (Napoleon’s friend) does try to run for class president and yes, he does meet a girl, but neither of those quests is fully finished until the very end of the film. To me, it seemed like the film was made up of a hodge-podge of random events in Napoleon’s life, which are loosely strung together by the theme of him being a complete loser.
The one good part of this movie is the performance of John Hader as Napoleon. In the traditional sense of an outsider movie, there is no quality about Hader’s Napoleon that is loveable. He’s just an asshole the whole movie. A wimpy asshole, maybe, but if he had been a pitiable loser who tries but fails to be accepted, the film would have been even worse.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
This Is Spinal Tap
This Is Spinal Tap is the ‘rock-umentary’ about the semi-fictitious hard-rock band, Spinal Tap. Directed by Rob Reiner (who also directed Princess Bride), the film stars David St. Hubbins (Michael McKean), Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest), and Derek Smalls (Harry Shearer).
The film is supposed to be based on Tap’s tour in America to promote their latest album, Smell The Glove. The band is infamous for their loud, obnoxious sound and their less than politically correct lyrics (with songs like “Working On A Sex Farm” and “Big Bottom”).
Tap beings their tour across America by first visiting their producers who have refused to produce the album because the cover is sexually degrading to women. The band manager, Ian Faith (Tony Hendra), attempts to influence the record company while he tries to keep the band in line.
As the band tours America, the audience is given a chance to learn more about its members and history. The film is set up in a way that shows a series of events concerning their American tour while simultaneously adding small interviews with different members of the band and, sometimes, the entire group.
As it turns out, the band has a primarily male audience (who would be surprise by that when you listen to their songs) and so their shows have become smaller. They experience cancellations in several cities as well.
While trying to put on a ‘Stonehenge/ druidian’ themed show, the band manager fails to come through with a piece of stagecraft, which he argues was the fault of one of the band members. This leads to discord between the band and Ian and so he leaves the group to be replaced by David’s girlfriend, Jeanine.
Once Jeanine takes over however, the band’s encounter even more cancellations and find themselves opening for puppet shows at the local fair and for military parties. It’s at this point that Nigel, who already had a rocky relationship with Jeanine leaves the band.
As sad as the plot sounds, the movie as actually hugely funny. It is said that the vast majority of this film was ad-libbed which makes the dialogue even funnier. The acting in the film is weirdly real for being a complete spoof of a rock band. What I mean is that they portray a totally convincing group of idiots.
The film is supposed to be based on Tap’s tour in America to promote their latest album, Smell The Glove. The band is infamous for their loud, obnoxious sound and their less than politically correct lyrics (with songs like “Working On A Sex Farm” and “Big Bottom”).
Tap beings their tour across America by first visiting their producers who have refused to produce the album because the cover is sexually degrading to women. The band manager, Ian Faith (Tony Hendra), attempts to influence the record company while he tries to keep the band in line.
As the band tours America, the audience is given a chance to learn more about its members and history. The film is set up in a way that shows a series of events concerning their American tour while simultaneously adding small interviews with different members of the band and, sometimes, the entire group.
As it turns out, the band has a primarily male audience (who would be surprise by that when you listen to their songs) and so their shows have become smaller. They experience cancellations in several cities as well.
While trying to put on a ‘Stonehenge/ druidian’ themed show, the band manager fails to come through with a piece of stagecraft, which he argues was the fault of one of the band members. This leads to discord between the band and Ian and so he leaves the group to be replaced by David’s girlfriend, Jeanine.
Once Jeanine takes over however, the band’s encounter even more cancellations and find themselves opening for puppet shows at the local fair and for military parties. It’s at this point that Nigel, who already had a rocky relationship with Jeanine leaves the band.
As sad as the plot sounds, the movie as actually hugely funny. It is said that the vast majority of this film was ad-libbed which makes the dialogue even funnier. The acting in the film is weirdly real for being a complete spoof of a rock band. What I mean is that they portray a totally convincing group of idiots.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Fired Up
I don’t know why or how I ended up in a theatre to see Fired Up, but I managed it. I like to think the story involves me being confronted by two thugs who I attempted to fight off valiantly to no avail. I hope they knocked me out, moved me to the theatre, and locked the door so I couldn’t escape. But no, I believe I went by choice, a much sadder and depressing story in itself.
I suppose most sixteen year olds would find Fired Up a very funny movie. Now, I don’t think I’m superior to any of my friends, but I definitely could not understand why they were all laughing while I sat wondering, “Why was this movie made?”
Fired Up is the story of two high school football players, Shawn and Nick (Nicholas D’Agosto and Eric Christian Olsen), who are both known for being womanizers. They pride themselves on their ability to ‘get with’ their classmates. The two decide that they would rather not go to their summer football training camp and instead want to go to cheerleading camp. As I recall, their prime motivation was “300 new hotties.”
Using the business skills of Shawn’s younger sister, Poppy (Juliette Goglia) the two convince the school cheer squad that they would like nothing better to go to cheer camp with them.
Maybe it was just me, but I felt like I’ve seen this movie before: a couple’a ‘bros’ go undercover to hook up with as many girls as possible; one bro falls in love with one of the girls he wasn’t supposed to but right when he’s about to tell her his feelings, the girls find out that they weren’t planning to stay for the final competition (when the girls needed them most). Then the bros make epic speeches to each other and they decide to go back and help the girls, even if they don’t want it. Exciting!
Even if you aren’t familiar with the plot line, you’ll soon be sick of the jokes: it seemed like half of the entire movie was spent making different metaphors for ‘I want to have sex with that girl’. The acting is, at least, decent considering the content, and I couldn’t help being reminded of Demitri Martin when I saw D’Agosto, who looks similar but whose jokes are bad and timing is worse.
I suppose most sixteen year olds would find Fired Up a very funny movie. Now, I don’t think I’m superior to any of my friends, but I definitely could not understand why they were all laughing while I sat wondering, “Why was this movie made?”
Fired Up is the story of two high school football players, Shawn and Nick (Nicholas D’Agosto and Eric Christian Olsen), who are both known for being womanizers. They pride themselves on their ability to ‘get with’ their classmates. The two decide that they would rather not go to their summer football training camp and instead want to go to cheerleading camp. As I recall, their prime motivation was “300 new hotties.”
Using the business skills of Shawn’s younger sister, Poppy (Juliette Goglia) the two convince the school cheer squad that they would like nothing better to go to cheer camp with them.
Maybe it was just me, but I felt like I’ve seen this movie before: a couple’a ‘bros’ go undercover to hook up with as many girls as possible; one bro falls in love with one of the girls he wasn’t supposed to but right when he’s about to tell her his feelings, the girls find out that they weren’t planning to stay for the final competition (when the girls needed them most). Then the bros make epic speeches to each other and they decide to go back and help the girls, even if they don’t want it. Exciting!
Even if you aren’t familiar with the plot line, you’ll soon be sick of the jokes: it seemed like half of the entire movie was spent making different metaphors for ‘I want to have sex with that girl’. The acting is, at least, decent considering the content, and I couldn’t help being reminded of Demitri Martin when I saw D’Agosto, who looks similar but whose jokes are bad and timing is worse.
Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
Michael Cera stars in Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist, the witty tale of ‘emo-punk rocker’ Nick O’Leary (Cera) and his quest for closure after he has his heart broken by popular girl Tris (Alexis Dziena).
Desperate to talk to Tris, Nick makes her a series of mix-tapes that he leaves on her doorstep. These mixes fall into the hands of Norah Silverberg, daughter of a famous studio owner, who shares similar musical taste.
Nick and his band, The Jerk-Offs (of which Nick is the only heterosexual member) travel to New York to play a show and to discover where Nick’s favorite band, Where’s Fluffy, will play their next show.
Also searching for the infamous band is Norah, who is accompanied by her drunken friend Caroline. In their search for the band, Norah and Caroline end up attending Nick’s concert along with Tris. It is here that Nick and Norah meet for the first time.
From then on, the movie becomes a teenage emotional rollercoaster as Nick and Norah try to find the location of the Where’s Fluffy concert. Nick’s constant struggle to overcome his issues with Tris alienates Norah while her ex-boyfriend intervenes between her and Nick.
The movie is likeable in many ways: the performances by all the primary characters are certainly believable when it comes to teen drama; the writing is witty and there aren’t long dull periods where nothing happens; also, Norah’s friend, Caroline, plays an outstanding drunk.
However, the movie as a whole seems somewhat aimless; that isn’t to say that nothing happens in the movie, but generally the movie feels like it has no direction. Sometimes it seems like a weak mix of dry teenage humor without any direction whatsoever.
I agree with several prominent critics who pointed out that the film is full of references to music and bands and clubs but has very little explanation as to why the characters like the music. I felt that this was a major gap in the writing especially since music is the uniting theme in the story.
Also, I was majorly disappointed when, after more than an hour, everyone finally arrives at the Where’s Fluffy concert, but we, the audience, don’t get to hear them play. While I’m happy for Nick and Norah, I wish they wouldn’t have left the concert.
Desperate to talk to Tris, Nick makes her a series of mix-tapes that he leaves on her doorstep. These mixes fall into the hands of Norah Silverberg, daughter of a famous studio owner, who shares similar musical taste.
Nick and his band, The Jerk-Offs (of which Nick is the only heterosexual member) travel to New York to play a show and to discover where Nick’s favorite band, Where’s Fluffy, will play their next show.
Also searching for the infamous band is Norah, who is accompanied by her drunken friend Caroline. In their search for the band, Norah and Caroline end up attending Nick’s concert along with Tris. It is here that Nick and Norah meet for the first time.
From then on, the movie becomes a teenage emotional rollercoaster as Nick and Norah try to find the location of the Where’s Fluffy concert. Nick’s constant struggle to overcome his issues with Tris alienates Norah while her ex-boyfriend intervenes between her and Nick.
The movie is likeable in many ways: the performances by all the primary characters are certainly believable when it comes to teen drama; the writing is witty and there aren’t long dull periods where nothing happens; also, Norah’s friend, Caroline, plays an outstanding drunk.
However, the movie as a whole seems somewhat aimless; that isn’t to say that nothing happens in the movie, but generally the movie feels like it has no direction. Sometimes it seems like a weak mix of dry teenage humor without any direction whatsoever.
I agree with several prominent critics who pointed out that the film is full of references to music and bands and clubs but has very little explanation as to why the characters like the music. I felt that this was a major gap in the writing especially since music is the uniting theme in the story.
Also, I was majorly disappointed when, after more than an hour, everyone finally arrives at the Where’s Fluffy concert, but we, the audience, don’t get to hear them play. While I’m happy for Nick and Norah, I wish they wouldn’t have left the concert.
The Princess Bride
I don’t remember the first time I watched The Princess Bride, but I can remember not understanding it. Other than the basic plot line, a lot of the movie went over my head. Most of the dialogue was too witty, the jokes too hard for me to comprehend.
I knew that Westley (Cary Elwes) was a poor farm boy and the he was in love with Buttercup (Robin Wright Penn). I understood the events that transpired which separated the two lovers and had Buttercup poised to be the next princess of Florin.
I did not, however, understand that this movie was a satire. At my young age, I took it for what it was: a tale of true love, pirates, saber-fighting, and a giant.
Now that I’m a bit smarter, I’ve come to appreciate this movie as a great work among satirical comedies. The writing is superb; the dialogue between Westley and Buttercup is fantastic, and many of the supporting characters are completely nutty. All of it comes together to create this 1987 film.
It beings with Buttercup and Westley; Westley, the young, handsome farm boy, and Buttercup, the pretty daughter of a farmer. The two fall in love but have no money for a marriage. Westley leaves the farm in search of money to provide a marriage and a home for his new love. However, his ship is attacked by the Dread Pirate Roberts and he never returns.
Buttercup is heartbroken by this news but, against her will, arrangements are made for her to marry the Prince of Florin, Humperdink. While she waits to be wed, she is kidnapped by three men: Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin), and Fezzic (Andre the Giant). These three men, led by Vizzini, are attempting to start a war between Florin and its neighbor, Gilder, by kidnapping the bride-to-be and killing her, while making Gilder look responsible.
Even as a satirical fairytale, this film has a surprisingly well-strung story that ties Westley’s quest to save Buttercup to the lives of Inigo and Fezzic.
The film is a great one for those who wish to witness a well-told story of ‘twue wove’ (it’ll make sense when you watch the movie).
I knew that Westley (Cary Elwes) was a poor farm boy and the he was in love with Buttercup (Robin Wright Penn). I understood the events that transpired which separated the two lovers and had Buttercup poised to be the next princess of Florin.
I did not, however, understand that this movie was a satire. At my young age, I took it for what it was: a tale of true love, pirates, saber-fighting, and a giant.
Now that I’m a bit smarter, I’ve come to appreciate this movie as a great work among satirical comedies. The writing is superb; the dialogue between Westley and Buttercup is fantastic, and many of the supporting characters are completely nutty. All of it comes together to create this 1987 film.
It beings with Buttercup and Westley; Westley, the young, handsome farm boy, and Buttercup, the pretty daughter of a farmer. The two fall in love but have no money for a marriage. Westley leaves the farm in search of money to provide a marriage and a home for his new love. However, his ship is attacked by the Dread Pirate Roberts and he never returns.
Buttercup is heartbroken by this news but, against her will, arrangements are made for her to marry the Prince of Florin, Humperdink. While she waits to be wed, she is kidnapped by three men: Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin), and Fezzic (Andre the Giant). These three men, led by Vizzini, are attempting to start a war between Florin and its neighbor, Gilder, by kidnapping the bride-to-be and killing her, while making Gilder look responsible.
Even as a satirical fairytale, this film has a surprisingly well-strung story that ties Westley’s quest to save Buttercup to the lives of Inigo and Fezzic.
The film is a great one for those who wish to witness a well-told story of ‘twue wove’ (it’ll make sense when you watch the movie).
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