I Hate Twilight

There are places I go where I expect to hear certain things: I go to the doctor to get medical advice; I go to a concert to hear music; I go home to hear about how I’m going to flip burgers if I don’t get my grades up. School has always been a place where I don’t expect to hear anything in particular; where conversation is delightfully random.
Until Twilight.
Dark were the days when all I heard around me was “Oh my God, I LOVE Edward!!!” Everywhere I turned, it seemed, girls were crooning about how beautiful Edward Cullen was and how he was so sweet, so strong, so…wonderful (said with a glossy-eyed stare into space).
I tolerated these outbreaks of affection for the fictional hero. And of course by ‘tolerated’ I mean I took every honest opportunity I got to destroy his reputation and destabilize his regime as ‘pop-icon’. The fighting reached a fever pitch when the movie was released, the veritable ‘A-bomb’ of the Twilight arsenal. After that calamity, I lost hope. “How,” I pleaded, “how could anyone let that book become a movie?”
In an attempt to make peace, I begrudgingly tried to read the first book; I didn’t make it far. But it did open my eyes to several things: firstly, it made me wonder a lot about the way popular media preys on their target audience. I mean no disrespect when I say this, but to a large degree this book seems to be capitalizing on the emotions of ‘tweenage’ girls. Which is obviously what you’d want to do if you were writing a book and you wanted it to sell.
However it’s fairly clear that that is ALL the author wanted to do. The story is so convoluted and full of drama that it becomes unbelievably unreal (even unreal-er than it was originally) that it hardly even passes as a fairy tale. I liked that the author took a new and unique angle on vampires. In doing so, however, she turned a frightening Transylvanian myth into the hot hunky dream-vampire…manthing…of a generation.
I did everything I could to win the war, but fighting Twilight supporters is like fighting the Chinese: there are just too many of them and they’re all willing to sacrifice themselves in the name of their ideals. I fear that the continued dominance of Edward and his band of vampire friends will only lead to another, more devastating conflict between realism and far-far-far-far-fetched tales.