Fired Up

I don’t know why or how I ended up in a theatre to see Fired Up, but I managed it. I like to think the story involves me being confronted by two thugs who I attempted to fight off valiantly to no avail. I hope they knocked me out, moved me to the theatre, and locked the door so I couldn’t escape. But no, I believe I went by choice, a much sadder and depressing story in itself.
I suppose most sixteen year olds would find Fired Up a very funny movie. Now, I don’t think I’m superior to any of my friends, but I definitely could not understand why they were all laughing while I sat wondering, “Why was this movie made?”
Fired Up is the story of two high school football players, Shawn and Nick (Nicholas D’Agosto and Eric Christian Olsen), who are both known for being womanizers. They pride themselves on their ability to ‘get with’ their classmates. The two decide that they would rather not go to their summer football training camp and instead want to go to cheerleading camp. As I recall, their prime motivation was “300 new hotties.”
Using the business skills of Shawn’s younger sister, Poppy (Juliette Goglia) the two convince the school cheer squad that they would like nothing better to go to cheer camp with them.
Maybe it was just me, but I felt like I’ve seen this movie before: a couple’a ‘bros’ go undercover to hook up with as many girls as possible; one bro falls in love with one of the girls he wasn’t supposed to but right when he’s about to tell her his feelings, the girls find out that they weren’t planning to stay for the final competition (when the girls needed them most). Then the bros make epic speeches to each other and they decide to go back and help the girls, even if they don’t want it. Exciting!
Even if you aren’t familiar with the plot line, you’ll soon be sick of the jokes: it seemed like half of the entire movie was spent making different metaphors for ‘I want to have sex with that girl’. The acting is, at least, decent considering the content, and I couldn’t help being reminded of Demitri Martin when I saw D’Agosto, who looks similar but whose jokes are bad and timing is worse.