Wag the Dog

Election Day is 14 days away and the President of the United States (Michael Belson) is caught fondling with a girl scout in the White House Oval Office. His re-election campaign slogan “Don’t change horses in midstream” is blatantly worthless following the media’s uprising in regards to the scandal.

Conrad Brean (Robert De Niro) and Stanley Motss (Dustin Hoffman) are recruited to distract voters from the presidential sex scandal. What ensues is clever and astonishing yet, in every respect, degrading of the country’s citizens.

Within hours, the United States is fighting a war with Albania. Stanley was able to hire an Albanian-looking girl to run through an imaginary Albanian-like village holding a bag of Tostitos Tortilla Chips and ideally fighting for her life. (The scene was later edited and the bag of chips was replaced with a dying white cat at the behest of the President.) War cries and volatile ruckus could be heard in the background. The scene is ridiculously pathetic but intricately fabricated.

The footage of the Albanian orphan is played and replayed across major media outlets. And although the Albanian embassy in the United States repeatedly refuted the war in Albania saying there is no such thing, the American people fall in love with the prospect. This is laughably appalling and somewhat disgraceful. The idea that the American people can so easily be manipulated by the media is ludicrous.

The President’s fallacious agenda for re-election continues despite some serious road blocks. The most comical incident occurs when Stanley, Conrad, and Winifred Ames (Anne Heche) embark on a mission to find a war hero- later identified as Old Shoe. When the Hollywood producers realize their war hero is actually a psychotic Army man convicted of raping a nun, the story peaks, then crashes, literally. The plane destined to deliver the war hero, Sergeant William Schumann (Woody Harrelson), who had been left behind on the battlefield, never reached its final destination.

Patriotism is at an all time high. The President of the United States has successfully ended a war between the Albanians and revolutionaries. An American soldier is accidently (purposefully for the sake of Hollywood) left behind to continue the fight for justice and democracy. The war hero dies “behind enemy lines” and the President is deemed the savior.

Could this actually happen in the real world? Is it possible to embellish a non-existing war to the extent of winning a presidential election? I don’t think so. This tale could never take place. Surely, we are too sophisticated. However, I am convinced that inappropriate, scumbag-esque issues relating to a specific candidate, like a sex scandal, can easily be diminished during election times. Wag the Dog is a phenomenal film lacking legitimacy.

State of Play

Washington Globe reporter Cal McAffery (Russell Crowe) has been assigned a story about the unexplained shooting of two people which resulted in the death of one man and sent the other into a coma. Meanwhile, an aide to Congressman Stephen Collins (Ben Affleck) dies in what appears to be a tragic accident. And the multi-billion-dollar-a-year corporation PointCorp is under investigation by Collins who is suddenly under fire for an alleged affair with the recently deceased aide.
Doesn’t that just smell like a conspiracy?
The very recently released film State of Play is a modern day thriller about a political conspiracy inside Congress involving one of the nations largest paramilitary corporations and the reporter who attempts to discover the truth about what really happened to the innocent people murdered.
It is difficult to explain the plot while at the same time leaving information out because the plot is interwoven so well. It truly is a well-spun web of truth and lies with several interesting plot twists that keep the viewer captivated.
For the subject matter, the film is surprisingly humorous. Cal has wonderful chemistry with his boss, Cameron Lynne (Helen Mirren) and with his co-reporter Della Frye (Rachel McAdams) and there are several funny moments throughout the film. At first I felt the humor was a bit out of place in the dark story surrounding the plot but after a while, it seemed to lighten the mood.
The acting throughout the film is very good: Crowe, as usual, is superb and is well supported by McAdams. Congressman Collins’ wife, Anne, is played by Robin Wright Penn (Forrest Gump, The Princess Bride) who portrays the emotionally wounded spouse wonderfully. From the sleaz-bag Dominic Foy (Jason Bateman) to Detective Donald Bell (Harry Lennix), the supporting characters are well cast and strongly portrayed.
My one complaint with the movie is that the plot becomes slightly convoluted as the story progresses. So much speculation is made that I sometimes was confused as to what was fact and what was fiction (in respect to the conspiracy). Overall, however, I thought the film was excellently made and is definitely award winning material.

The Madcap Laughs and Barrett

Being the great Pink Floyd fan that I am, I’ve made it my mission to listen to every one of their albums. Beginning in the late 60s, they began producing their first few albums. At the time, singer-songwriter and guitarist Roger ‘Syd’ Barrett led Floyd. He wrote and co-wrote many of the bands early songs. The early work of Floyd had heavy psychedelic undertones owing to Barrett’s almost constant use of LSD and other drugs.
The early Floyd albums are hit and miss; songs on the albums are sometimes beautifully written while others are poorly produced with a clumsy, even unprofessional, sound.
Even with these inconsistencies, I wanted to give Barrett’s two solo albums a try. The Madcap Laughs and Barrett were released around the same time Floyd, with new guitarist and former best friend of Barrett, David Gilmour, was in the production stage of Dark Side of The Moon.
These two albums have much in common with those produced by Floyd during the Barrett-led era. Not only is the songwriting similar, but the instrumentation is also almost the same because former band mates of Barrett’s collaborated with him on the album (Rick Wright, David Gilmour, and Nick Masson, all of Pink Floyd).
TML and Barrett are similarly inconsistent on a song-to-song basis: some are smoothly made with interesting guitar parts and lyrics while others seem to have the same chord progressions. Often it was difficult to tell one song from another owing to the unnoticeable differences between some songs.
For someone who enjoyed Barrett’s early work with Pink Floyd (i.e. A Saucerful of Secrets), I was, for the most part, disappointed by his two solo albums. It is said that his mental condition had declined severely at this point which may have played a role in the quality of his music. However, with that in mind, I still only found 2 or 3 songs on each album that I find musically moving.
Perhaps the reason for my dislike of the album is the fact that I do not, unlike Barrett, habitually abuse LSD. But I don’t think music should only be enjoyable when using hallucinogenic drugs.

Minstrel In the Galaxy

In trying to expand my musical library, I stumbled on to a psychedelic/space rock group called Acid Mothers Temple. The 30-second clips on iTunes led me to believe that I might be able to find something in their music so I downloaded the album and gave it a go.
Minstrel In the Galaxy is a short album; just three songs, one of which is a reprise of the other. The third (second on the album), however, is a 40-minute drone of odd sounds and vocals.
As far as I am aware and from the limited research I have done, Acid Mothers Temple has sought to create the best ‘trip’ music for those using LSD (acid) or other hallucinogenic drugs. Having never used or planned to use either, I am forced to review the album purely by the sound-value.
The first song began with a very pretty acoustic riff that repeated itself later in the third track. In the background are a number of odd sythn sounds; it is not difficult to tell that this album is intended to sound like space-rock. Shortly after the riff beings, it stops, only to be replaced by the incoherent mumbling of a Japanese woman (Acid Mothers Temple are a Japanese band, if I forgot to mention it).
The 40-minute song begins shortly after and, as you can imagine, it is unimaginably long. MUCH of the song is given over to long periods of near silence punctuated only by little beeps and distant background singing (along with other space sounds).
Near about 9 minutes the real music beings; but real music as defined by Acid Mothers Temple is different than what most would consider music: do not expect any heart-stopping acoustic riffs played by the Jonas Brothers or any other pop icon. THIS music is comprised of a heavy bass riff over layered by a vibrato space guitar and unsteady percussion. Also present are a number of odd vocal anomalies which can most closely be compared to the sounds ‘Indians’ make when they’re about to attack white settlers in those Ol’ West movies.
For someone who usually looks at music for people with refined taste (not superior, r-e-f-i-n-e-d) this album is DEFINITELY for people with EXTREAMLY refined taste.

Teeth

So, this girl, she lives next to a nuclear power plant and there is a young boy and girl, whose parents are getting married, playing in a pool. The little boy says, “If you show me yours, I’ll show you mine.” And the little boy puts his finger under the water and screams; he pulls it out and his finger is badly cut.
13 or so years later, the same girl is in high school, head of the Purity Club. She travels from elementary to elementary to talk to kids about waiting for marriage to have sex. Her brother has become a Goth/sex addict with vagina-phobia (just to clarify, he only likes anal sex) because of the incident as a kid.
Later, Purity Girl and the boy she likes go to a lake to spend some time alone together. The boy is a little less than satisfied with his sexual situation and tries to take advantage of Purity Girl. What he doesn’t know is that what goes in to Purity Girl’s vagina doesn’t come out. The set of shark-like teeth in Purity Girls vag bite off his entire Johnson and spits it out on a rock.
By now you should be wondering if this plot is a creation of my own twisted imagination but no, it is not. This is a real movie and is on the shelf at your local video store. Surprised? I was too. Back to the story!
After the cock-gobbling, Purity Girl does research about a mythical creature who has a similar condition. She discovers that the monster in her vagina can only be conquered by a great hero.
Through a series of sexual encounters, Purity Girl discovers that consent is the key to unlock the dick-eating vagina. She finds out that if she wants to have sex with the person, she can control the teeth and prevent them from harming men.
I’m forced to wonder what influenced the creators of this film to write such a terrible movie: are they making a statement about free speech? Or are they trying to discourage people from having frivolous unprotected sex? Or are they just incredibly stupid?
Terrible movie.

Watchmen

Having never read the novel, I wasn’t sure what to expect when I went to see Watchmen. From the commercials, I was certain I’d see a sizeable portion of graphic violence, which was enough to coerce me into going. I was not, however, expecting to see so much of Dr. Manhattan’s radiating package. But hey, it’s my own fault.
Giant blue penis aside, Watchmen was easily one of the most visually stunning films I’ve seen since the Planet Earth series and 300 (which was directed by the same man).
The film is set in an alternate American history: the year is 1985; Nixon is still president and the United States easily won the Vietnam War (with the help of the superhuman Dr. Manhattan). Masked super heroes are commonplace in our society (although none but Manhattan have any real super powers).
Plot wise, this film is difficult to explain. There is a lot going on throughout the movie and quite honestly, I was only really interested in Manhattan because he was easily the coolest character in the film (I’ve never been so inspired by watching a giant blue man with a giant blue penis as he vaporized little Vietnamese Commies).
Even so, the story beings by setting the stage for the events to come: Rorschach, a masked vigilante who has remained active even after the outlawing of supers, is investigating the murder of a colleague. He believes the murder is the first in a series of events being executed to eradicate the heroes.
Meanwhile, Dr. Manhattan, born from a science project gone wrong, is trying to create a solution to the world’s energy problems using his superhuman powers (he is also getting handsie with Silk Spectre II, at the same time because he can split himself if he needs to). Silk Spectre is hurt by Manhattan’s unconceren for the state of the human world; she throws a fit and leaves to stay with Nite Owl II.
Really I was confused by a lot of things in the movie. While well made, I couldn’t help but wonder why Manhattan wasn’t able to see the murder, Silk Spectre leaving, the plot by Ozymandious or several other things. For being all powerful, he was very weak.

A Fish Called Wanda

Released in 1988, A Fish Called Wanda is the English-American comedy film of a jewelry heist in London.
Wanda Gershwitz (Jamie Lee Curtis) is an American thief who is working with her English lover George Thomason (Tom Georgeson) to rob £13 million ($20 million) in jewels. Assisting them are Wanda’s secret lover and pretend brother, Otto West (Kevin Kline), and George’s friend Ken Pile (Michael Palin). The four plan to rob the jeweler, wait a few days, and then leave England for the carribean.
The robbery is a success and the four involved hide the jewels and plan to meet at the airport in a week. Wanda and Otto, however, had planned to turn George in and so alert the police. George is arrested for the robbery but when the two return to where they believe the jewels are hidden, they find that George has moved them.
In an attempt to discover where the jewels are, Wanda beings to seduce George’s barrister, Archie Leach (John Cleese). She attempts to use him to garner information on George’s trial as Archie is the first person whom George would divulge the location of the jewels.
As the story develops, Archie begins to fall in love with Wanda while she continues to work towards her own end. However, Otto discovers the location of the jewels before his ‘sister’ does. So rather than testifying for George to get him off, Wanda provides evidence that he was the sole person involved in the robbery.
Genuinely funny writing and a well-written plot hold the film together. The portrayal of the characters is also brilliant. Kline’s outrageous performance as Otto is easily one of the funniest I’ve seen (I don’t know whether he actually ate live fish, but its completely convincing).
The comical mixture of the film combines stupidity with romance and creates an interesting blend of scenes that are always funny and never dull. It’s difficult to find a scene void of humor in some shape or form.